Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
