I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
