i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
