people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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