were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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