Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
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The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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