2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the room spins SO much faster in panama
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
