fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
