Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
