woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My vagina just clenched in fear
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
