Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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