They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
