How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
