two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize