i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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