He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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