How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
