how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We need to rekindle our bromance
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
