I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
