i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Someone shit on the floor
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's official drugs can't kill me
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
