My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
