I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
