i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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