i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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