I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
