he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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