I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
