hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
