I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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