How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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