rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
