u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
