Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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