i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
