Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
