Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Operation Purity has been aborted
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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