the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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