were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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