we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize