from now on my penis is your penis
Who did Billy Mays play for?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize