im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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