Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Randomize
