why didn't you poke me back
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
