glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
