how can u be prego again
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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