So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
