Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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