I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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