A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize