I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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