I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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