And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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