It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
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I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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