He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
