I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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