All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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