Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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