yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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